When I began this blog I just wanted to share a piece of myself in order to find my purpose so I began the work. Actually starting the blog wasn’t hard at all, pick your theme and pay money. The hard part began when I had to figure out what to fill the template with.
Jen asked me to have content already prepared but I procrastinated. I toyed around with names, etc. and what came out of that was a question about my brand. Now, I have a degree in Marketing so I understand about branding but that was the very area that plagued me. What was my purpose? What did I want to convey? My answer is and was…myself. I am the brand; I want to convey my most authentic self!
I had trouble with this previously because I didn’t want to go in one direction when I had so much to offer.Because I previously didn’t know my purpose and struggled with getting a clear vision, I couldn’t put my finger on it. I knew I had a lot to give…beauty, fashion, decor, art, spirituality, Hebraic information, etc. So instead of trying to fit into a cute little box, I decided to own my truth, to put it out there that I didn’t have a clue. The only thing I did know was that I didn’t want to sugar coat my process and if that came off as over sharing, then so be it. I became determined to find me so I started dealing with
issues I had regarding rejection and my beliefs, while reading Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst. That book really hit home for me because I’ve always believed that a lot of my issues in relationships were based off of my relationship with my dad, which she explored in her book.
As I read that book and continue to read, I find myself in those pages. I take it personally, I do the work by confronting my rejection in this blog and of it, I’m so proud. As you read my posts, I’m giving you me, my most authentic self and there will be times that I fail. (You’ve already seen it) You will see those posts but you will also experience when I triump. You will experience my fears, hopes and dreams. My only hope is that my words feeds your soul.
I’m not sure if you all remember but a couple of posts back, around February 15th, I stated that I had some drama with my dad. Well, a month later I see our relationship turning around for the better.
Since then, we’ve been talking on the phone nearly everyday and on March 16th we spent the whole day together. We saw Logan at the movies, had Thai and we spent the rest of the night talking and watching movies. It was a really good day! Speaking of branding, there was a quote that kept coming up in the movie that stuck out to me, “There’s no going back from it, right or wrong, it’s a brand and the brand sticks.”
Thank you guys for being here to experience this turn around with me. You don’t know how much I appreciate the opportunity to share my truth. I know one good day is not the end all be all, but it’s a step in the right direction and I couldn’t be more thankful. Over the years, we’ve done similar song and dance routines but it felt different this time. I think it’s because I’m different. This June I’ll be 34 and I just don’t see me “fighting” as hard as I once did, especially if it’s a one sided fight. I used to think that girls needed their dads and I guess I still feel that way but now I’m a woman. My childhood is over; I don’t need rearing anymore but I would like a relationship or perhaps a friendship even. So as you can see, I don’t have lofty, “pie in the sky” expectations but I’m learning when good things happen, celebrate; so that more of that energy can be attracted. So today, I’m celebrating that a corner has been turned in our relationship and that I have the audacity to expect to give you even more praise reports!!
In a month’s time, progress has been made and I just want to encourage you guys to keep pushing! Things can change in a moment. Let’s not take our moments for granted, nearly a fourth of the year is already gone. Allow yourself to revisit what you wanted, find your passion again and position yourself for breakthrough because it can happen in a moment… or in a month.
Love you guys,