Morning, Lovely People
So this chapter is about 10 things to remember when rejected so I figured I’d just lay it out there for you…
1. One Rejection Is Not a Projection of Future Failures– I know it feels like it but push past those limiting beliefs. I’ve always heard, “It’s not about you, it’s about who you’re called to.” I think I finally got it! Sometimes you have to go through an obstacle so that you can be compassionate to others who are going through. There are times when you have to have had an experience it to understand or to bond with that person so that they will trust you enough to be vulnerable to help them through their storm. A spiritual “Harriet Tubman” if you will. Compassion shouldn’t come from a manufactured place.
2. Rejection Doesn’t Label You; It Enables You to Adjust and Move On– In the words of the great Aaliyah, “Dust yourself off and try again.”
3. This Could Be an Invitation to Live in Expectation of Something Else– I find this especially true in relationships. We can sometimes settle and when that person rejects us, it’s letting us know, not that we weren’t good enough, but that we should be grateful that we didn’t get stuck with that person because we are too good (Not to be cocky #nobragjustFactz). In this case, the rejection re-positions us.
4. There Is Usually Some Element of Protection Wrapped in Every Rejection– Look at Romans 8:27-29
And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers.…
A lot of times people will only use the 28th verse to make a point but I wanted you to see this in context…In the 27th verse it’s stating that God knows our intentions because He searches us. So it’s our intention that He works together with those who love Him and according to John 14:15 “If you love Him, keep His commands.”
The point I’m making is everyone says “All things work together for my good.” My answer is No, it doesn’t. If we don’t have good intentions and if we don’t follow His commands, it means we don’t love Him. In fact, if we find ourselves here, we are actually rejecting him and He has no obligation to us; which includes no obligation to protect us. Oh, but if we do love Him, we follow His commands, we will have good intentions and He will make everything, even rejection, work out for our good because we are recognizing His love for us by reflecting it back to Him. Working it out for your good simply means that we have faith that whatever happens is not happening to us, it’s happening for us.
5. It’s Good to Ask the “What” Questions but Less Helpful to Ask “Why”– The “What” questions would be…”What do you want me to learn from this?” “What is my next move?” instead of the “Why me’s?” The tone of the “What” questions are more powerful. The “Why” questions sound like complaints.
6. Don’t Hash, Bash or Trash on the Internet. Remember, the Internet Never Forgets– Stay OFF the internet!! Not just when you’ve been rejected, but in any unfavorable situation…just unplug!! You’ll thank me later
7. There’s Much More to You than the Part That Was Rejected– You are not your rejection! You (the person) has NOT been rejected. If they knew the real you, they would know what they were missing out on and would’ve never mistreated you. They didn’t know you. Forgive them and forgive yourself for expecting so much. Sometimes we put too much expectation on others to “complete” us or for our happiness. You are worth having that with or without someone else. Take the time to find acceptance in and for yourself and you’ll be less likely to depend on someone else for it.
8. What One Person Sees as Your Liability, Another Might See as a Wonderful Asset– To take this one a step further, what one might see as a liability, you should see as an opportunity. Own it!! Work at turning the negative into something that could benefit you; We, The Peculiars is built off of this concept. All of my friends (except for 1) are either married with kids, married and no kids or have children and not married. I don’t…I don’t have any of the combinations working for me. I used to think it was my weight, I used to think I wasn’t pretty enough, or “ride or die” enough, I was too sensitive, I cared too much…I felt like the third wheel.
I’ve even had a friend say they only wanted to be friends with people who were married. (Indirectly saying they didn’t want to be my friend anymore because of my marital status) Harsh, right? Truth be told, I was hurt at first but I gave her what she wanted. I wasn’t going to get in a relationship because she wanted a hangout partner so, I stopped coming around. She quickly realized that her married friends weren’t better friends because they had a ring and some of them were horrible wives who didn’t even support her relationship. She soon made her way back to my friendship because I was a true friend and truly happy for her. She found out I wasn’t a liability almost at the expense of our friendship.
9. This is a Short-Term Setback, Not a Permanent Condition– Refer to Question 2 commentary 🙂
10. Don’t Let This Heartbreak Destroy You. Let This Breaking Actually Be the Making of You. Let God Use It in Good Ways to Make You Stronger and Take You Further– What she said. Reread # 10.
If you’ve never experienced a storm, you are unable to appreciate the beauty of sunny days…. butterflies floating in the air, Will Smith’s, Summertime blaring through your radio and your hair blowing in the wind of a gentle breeze and just like the color purple, it pisses God off when it’s not recognized…Stay the course, it’s worth it! At the end of every storm, wisdom is waiting to be unveiled and appreciated in the sun. -Beebz
*This morning’s Life Changing Alliances call was about the same topic. Check it out here and enjoy.