I wanted to share some thoughts I had, coupled with some experiences…you know what? I’m not gonna dress it up. I just want to talk to you guys and perhaps sort something’s out for myself.
I’ve had so many car issues this month that now I feel like it’s just part of the process. Have you ever felt like that? So much so, that you begin to feel that it’s testing you or your faith or both? First, it just cut off on me, then I had to get it towed, 2 diagnostics to find nothing wrong with it, 2 new tires, alignment, balancing, oil change and a tune up. Let’s just say it’s been some serious character building going on. I know this is probably just standard with older cars but it felt like a personal assault. Primarily because it’s so much money going out and not a lot coming in. Please understand, I’m not telling you this to complain. During this time, I’ve drawn closer to God, I’ve learned so many things about myself and the life I want to lead and after careful deliberation, I’m deciding to begin looking for jobs. I know, I know…this blog is about us pursuing our dreams with excitement and creating the life we want to live. However, as a grown woman with grown woman bills I have to be able to handle things. Even Jesus said “Pay Caesar what’s Caesar’s.”
I’ve made promises when I accumulated these bills and I have to hold up my end of the bargain. It’s not to say that I won’t be pushing to make We, The Peculiars a success because I will. A girl simply has to do what a girl’s gotta do. I don’t have someone to share the responsibility with. So, I’ve been working on my resume trying to decide in which direction I would like to go.
Previously, I worked in Accounts Payable and all it proved is that I was there for so long because I needed a check and that I can master anything. Most of all, it taught me that I don’t belong there. Ideally, my next job would somehow give me skills to take us to the next level. So, I guess I’ll be looking a social media jobs. If you guys think about it, send some prayers up for me for direction, favor and clarity. I would really appreciate it.
When I tend to find myself in these places, I look to the Hebraic calendar to see where we are and as of the 24th we crossed over to the month of Av. This is a pivotal month because it was the month the Israelites were suppose to go into the Promised Land but because of the evil report of the 10 spies, an 11 day trip took 40 years. The day of the evil report was the 9th of Av. Historically, since then, there has been calamity that has fallen on Israel; such as, the 1st temple being destroyed, the destruction of the 2nd temple, a revolt, the expulsion of the Jews from England and banishment from Spain all on this date (9th of Av) in different years. It’s said to be the saddest day on the Jewish calendar and is considered the lowest point of the month. The 9th of Av or Tish B’ Av is actually today.
So I’m reminded to keep any complaints at a minimum. What I didn’t know was that there was a high point of the month as well and it’s said to be the 15th of Av which falls on August 7th this year. It’s a high point because it is said to be the date 40 years later that the last of the “unbelieving generation” died and Israel was finally able to go into the Promised Land.
From this, I’m reminded to keep my confession positive, to state only what the Lord says and not what I see. I believe that there is a birthing that takes place in destruction. It’s not until the seed dies that it’s able to produce life. I believe even with me, there’s somethings that maybe had to die so that I could receive newness. Some old mindsets, beliefs, traditions and ideas just had to be sacrificed for me to step into my purpose. I’m stronger for this period of character building, it really is stretching me and causing me to change perspectives, not because I wanted to but because I have no other choice. I know that my Promised Land is closer than I think if I maintain the right confession. So when I want to complain, I find myself praising God, asking Him for His will to be done and reciting “that everything works together for my good.”
I honestly don’t know if getting a job is God’s will but I believe that I must do everything I know to do. I figure He can work with that opposed to me doing nothing and waiting on Him. Do you guys have any advice as to what my posture should be in this season? I’d love to hear your thoughts.