I hope this post finds you all well. I saw a video on Facebook this morning and it was so powerful that it really spoke to my heart. Please click the ‘Read More’ link to watch the video, read my reaction and to make your own comments. Let’s get a conversation started.
I thought this was vital to post because many of us on WordPress are bloggers and we are here because we love it. We love giving our opinions and expressing our point of views in our space on the internet and if we could make a living off of it, no questions asked, a lot of us would. Unfortunately, many of us don’t have that option, so we juggle the “bill payer” with our passion, but would be willing to risk it all in a second if we knew that it would work out in our favor.
I got choked up watching this, not because I felt sorry for her because I didn’t. I knew she was empowered when she hit rock bottom and that she is now living her success story. You could tell by the intensity in her voice that her experience catapulted her into her best life. I was choked up because I’m currently Lisa Nichols; the Lisa Nichols before her deliverance (minus the baby and living in South Central). People like to minimize my struggle because I don’t have kids but it’s hard for me too and to be honest I’m Lisa Nichols at this very moment.
It scares me It terrifies me that I may not have the fortitude to stick to the process to be empowered myself. I pride myself on loving God and to know that this moves me makes me feel unworthy but I have to constantly push past that because it feels like lack is attempting to linger over me and I legit have to work to push to faith. I constantly need stories like hers and other resources to build me up so that I know that it’s possible even if I loose everything. Some may think I’m being materialistic but no one wants to be the broke friend, or the one who lost what everyone admired about her. What would I have left? We all like to think that those things don’t matter until you’re faced with it and shallow or not, I’m gonna be real.
If you don’t know my story, after graduating college I went to work for a major utility company. It not only provided me with stability, as we all know, everyone needs utilities so it wasn’t going anywhere but it also provided comfort. When I came to the company, although fairly large, it was still family oriented. My grandfather was the first black Vice President, my mom, dad, uncle and best friend’s family all were gainfully employed there. In fact, I met my best friend, Tuere there. As kids, we came to work with our parents on the “Take your kid to work day” and also for pictures with Santa. We would hang out all day and sneak candy off of unsuspecting employee’s desks. No doubt in my mind, when they returned to work they were probably disappointed to find their treats were gone.
Once I was employed, I worked in Customer Service and about a year later, we were outsourced. I wasn’t scared though. I knew I didn’t have much experience but I felt led to apply to a position with the outsourcing company and ended up landing a Staffing job in Human Resources. It was cool but many applicants didn’t get far due to failing the drug test, background check or the standardized testing. After awhile, my position was eliminated, due to no fault of my own, just the nature of an outsourcing company. I soon began assisting Customer Service to help catch up with backlogs and help out in Accounts Payable. Once the backlog was done, I was offered a position in AP. I worked in AP for 9 years and 4 months until our 10 year contract ended. Now I’m sure you’re thinking, “What’s the problem? You knew the contract was for 10 years.” The kicker is AP was the only department that made money for the outsourcing company and for that reason, we were offered a 5 year extension. At that point I was super excited because I felt that I could launch my brand and then by year 5 be straight. Unfortunately, they reneged by deciding to get rid on the Onshore team (my supervisor and I) and keep our team in Bangalore. We had a couple of months to find jobs but everything I found wanted to pay me pennies. So I decided that I would go after my dream now versus later. After all, I would still have my part time job and a severance. The severance ended up being a huge joke, especially with the car problems I’ve recently had.
As of now, I’ve completed several job applications but there is a still small voice that’s saying “Don’t return to your vomit.” I know it sounds disgusting and maybe even overly dramatic but that’s how I see it. Jobs don’t pay you what you deserve, they aren’t appreciative and don’t care about you. They take advantage of you but want you to give your left kidney, your firstborn, waste your potential and your whole life to be loyal to them but I can’t even blame it on the job because they are doing what they are suppose to do, get as much out of us with the least amount of cost. It’s completely our fault because we allow minimum wages to be an option for us because we will do just about anything out of desperation; they just capitalize off of it.
I don’t know how I’m gonna pay these bills but something has got to give. The way I see it is either my determination is going to go into overdrive or I’m going to give into pressure of my environment that says “You have a dream? That’s cute but you need money.” To which, I’ve been rolling my eyes but now that roll is starting to fill with tears. If I haven’t learned anything else, life could care less about tears. I know I need money but I need to get free too; I just hope that the freedom takes place before desperation.
When I say free, I don’t mean free like Peggy Bundy (c’mon Married with Children reference) sitting on the couch eating bon bons. I mean free, as in time freedom; freedom to do what you want, when you want and how you want. I am aware that also requires financial freedom as well. The way I see it is, I need time to do that and that’s what I was lacking: waking up at 4, traveling at 5, at work by 6, at the other job at 3 and home by 10. I had no time for creativity or to explore my purpose, keep my house together, workout, cook or just enjoy life. I was literally living to work. I’m not gonna get financially free depending on wages and I’m certainly not gonna get time freedom by working on a job that sucks the life outta me. So maybe, I’m in the best possible position, rock bottom.
I just want to make the best decision for my life, the God decision and not the good decision. I don’t want to live below my potential, I want to live beyond it. I don’t want to be just another person. No offense, but I always knew that there was greatness all over me and it dimmed due to the lack of support and weight of responsibilities. Honestly, I started this blog because there’s greatness on all of us but we are caught in a system.
I find it interesting that all of the “woke” people are beginning to understand that the health care industry is in bed with the food industry to keep us Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead but very few people understand that we are also stifled by the industrial system; keeping us fearful to rely on ourselves for our own provisions. It kills our creativity and our spirit. I’m not saying that jobs are the devil. What I am saying is use the job don’t let the job use you. Use the job to become free. Take advantage of any training or programs that will help you reach your goals. Focus on becoming independent which means that you are no longer making meaningless purchases. Establish a plan for saving or investing so that you can get to a point where you aren’t as dependent, giving you financial stability to spend the necessary time to build your business by having a large savings to live off of so you dont have to be stressed about the fundamentals like Lisa and I. It’s not wrong to have employees but treat them fairly, make sure they are in the best possible position for growth, pay them fairly, allow them time for living or to spend with their families to actually enjoy life.
From this video, I’ve again been reminded that I must die to my ideas of what this journey will have in store for me. No one’s road to success looks the same. Unfortunately, I need to constantly be reminded of this so bear with me but that is what this blog is about; not to show you the success on the other side so that someone can want to be like me but show you the costs along the way. To those who have made it, Was it worth it? To those who haven’t quite made it, how are you dealing with it? To those who are scared, you can do it! Whatever phase you are in, remember I’m here if you need to talk or vent. Holla at me in the comments section below or send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
*Artwork by tamarindojuice http://tamarindojuice.deviantart.com/art/Young-and-unemployed-Animated-363607486