This is in no way meant to be rude or nasty. However, someone’s expectations of you are their problem and not yours. For too long I’ve played down the amazing things about me and/or the greatness happening in my life because I was too busy looking at what I didn’t have because someone planted a seed of them expecting more, not because I wasn’t happy or satisfied but because they weren’t.
It’s great to have expectations of yourself and sometimes others; however, it’s to the utmost importance that you tread lightly. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket when expectations are concerned because it’s likely that you can end up with a mess and hangry. Yep, I know what I typed…hangry, hungry and angry.
Whenever I can, I like to look up definitions so that we will be on the same page and, to be frank, so I can make sure I know what I’m talking about…so here it is.
Keep that definition in your back pocket cause you’re gonna need it later. The scenario happened yesterday morning. I spent the night over my mom’s house and was talking to her before going to work and she informs me that every time she speaks to one of her girlfriends she’s always asking if Ne-Ne (family nickname) got a job, or a man and if I still have my locs. I don’t know if it’s one of those things where my mom just wanted to make conversation or if she really is always asking about me. At first I thought it was nice then something rose up in me. I wasn’t mad or upset. I simply took a stand and replied “So sorry to disappoint.” Due to my mission to better myself everyday, I’m choosing to protect my space. I’m not allowing negativity abort that.
So, to pick that definition back up…there was a belief that I should have achieved getting married/having a boyfriend, maintaining my locs and a job. #sorrynotsorry Oh and while I’m at it, I might as well address this one too…
I’m tired of apologizing for some “well-meaning” person’s expectations. I’m peculiar. I’ve never done things that were expected of me when they were expected of me. Not to be a rebel, but life just never happened like that. That’s not life, life is messy no matter how prepared you are for it. I’m not writing this because I don’t want to be married and have kids because I do want those things very much. I’m just not willing to jump into anything because it’s what everyone else is doing. I committed myself to God; therefore, I’m not having pre-marital sex; so no kids are happening right now. In my experience, that has yet to be celebrated but it’s cool cause I know all of Heaven is. As far as my locs are concerned, if I need them either I’ll grow them or I’ll attach my old ones. They have been stored under my sink for safe keeping and the job issue….I’ve spoke on this several times already, I don’t want a job; I will have a career. If I need to get a job in the interim then fine but as long as I’m not begging anyone for money, everyone should just relax. Like Aunt Maxine Waters said, “I’m reclaiming my time!” If that disappoints or causes someone’s unsolicited expectations of me to be thwarted then so be it.
This is just what I’m going through at the moment. It’s a distraction to get me off of my game. In the past, this would’ve crushed me. I would’ve felt like a failure and an embarrassment to my mom but I’m not. I realize that what should be celebrated is condemned and vice versa, it’s just a sign of the times.
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. (Isaiah 5:20)
It’s there to show me that I’m going in the right direction.
If you get nothing else from this post, I hope you understand that it’s up to you to protect your peace, your heart and everything else you hold dear. Don’t allow expectations of others to steal your joy, day, month, week or your year. You can hear it but don’t listen if it’s not making you better and driving you to your destiny.
Love you guys and stay protected.