Today’s topic of discussion is Giving. To give is defined as to freely transfer; not to transfer with the expectation of receiving something in exchange of the initial transference. We get it confused sometimes and then wanna talk about how everyone didn’t grow up the way we did and how we don’t get treated how we treat others. It’s really hilarious when you think about it, we do the exact opposite of the definition and then make ourselves into victims.
Bottomline, we have to give freely and if we can’t do that then keep whatever it is. I think there are times when people feel bullied to give. People love to talk about how they don’t care what others think but we do and the truth is people get bullied to give as if everyone around them will be judgy if they don’t but to me, it’s more selfish to give with the wrong intention than to keep with the right one. Even when it comes to having children, I find that people act as if you aren’t a giver or you’re selfish if you aren’t popping out babies left and right. Honestly, a lot of that is misery loving company. (Maybe I should’ve warned you, I’m gonna be brutally honest and if you’re offended by what I’m saying, check yourself, make adjustments and regroup…no love lost) I think we can all agree that children are gifts and moms are the ultimate givers but some of these women are greedy. Stop making babies, if you are unhappy with your life as it is. Focus your attention on your passion. Yes, it will take more discipline and sacrifice but it can be done. You can be a boss and a mom. I am not saying abort your baby. I am saying take the necessary precautions so that you aren’t out here just making babies to seem like you’re the gift that keeps on giving. Who says that once you’re a mom, you can’t be anything else? The only restraints that hold us are the ones we allow.
The reason why I say that it’s an issue of misery loves company is because these certain group of mothers, not all, operate in pressuring others to gift give out of season to control others; using the fear tactic of “Why don’t you have kids? You don’t like kids? It sure would be nice if I could have a niece/nephew/grandchild.” What kind of questions are those? I love kids but what I don’t appreciate is someone else trying to write out my life because they gave up their opportunity to create the life they wanted. Maybe they did create the life they wanted, maybe their ultimate goal was to be a mom and hats off to them for that but that’s not everyone’s calling and even if it is, maybe they have other priorities that they would like to handle before that one. As a single woman with no children, I get to choose and if I choose to wait until I’m in a relationship, married or whatever other circumstances I choose, that’s my business. To me, it’s not selfish. In fact, it’s the most selfless thing I can do. Yes, I’ll have to deal with the outcome whether good or bad but constantly reminding me that the longer I wait the higher the chance of complications just isn’t gonna sway me. If anything, that’s not giving at all and for me to give in to pressure wouldn’t be the circumstances in which I would want to create life. (I guess you can tell this happens on the very frequent basis.)
Aside from the kid talk, there are people that are natural born givers and those that are takers. The Givers usually have a hard time because they want everyone to acknowledge and appreciate them; everyone wants to feel appreciated.The Takers usually have no problems unless they have nothing to take or if they have to give because it’s foreign to them, not that they can’t. The way to solve the problems for both sides is just to embrace who you are and focus on balance. We get into trouble when we try to be or do things that just aren’t us to prove a point. No one wants to be taken advantage of; so it’s important to communicate when someone crosses the line and be sure not to allow anyone to cause you to not be true to yourself. What do you give to yourself? I find that when we haven’t sufficiently given ourselves what we need, we look to others to give it to us.
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.-Luke 6:38
So before I close this post I just want to reiterate, to give freely, not expecting anything in return; with the right intent. Don’t give to get, don’t give to control and don’t give to give, to make a spectacle out of it or for the approval. Give because you felt led. Give because you choose to out of kindness and mercy. Never give up but you can give down, to help those who need it. Give back to show gratitude. Giving isn’t always financial. Give out of abundance and give out of lack. Amazing things happen when we give from the right place. Although, it looks like you’ll have less, miraculously, you will never go without. Of course I had to add a corny 80’s song. Enjoy.
What are your thoughts about giving? Are you a giver?