Before I get started, I just wanted to remind you guys to take a look at my last post. I’m doing a giveaway for reaching 100 Peculiars. It’s super easy to enter, just comment and like on this post and be subscribed. It ends on January 6, 2018 and I’ll let the winner know on January 7th.
Anyway, part 1 continues with Glennon in the hospital. Here she is able to be her real self, no masks to cover her scars, just her. Here we get revelation about who she is and how she got to such a place, to me her most authentic place.
These people were too much for society to handle, it’s not that they were crazy it’s just the opposite, they were crazy honest, too honest and it helped me see that people really don’t want the truth. They don’t want to take responsibility for the truth. They really love lies and it’s so weird that they same people will say that they hate liars but really need them to function. She expresses this in a conversation she had with her roommate
One night after lights out, I tell Mary Margaret about my great-grandfather. I explain that he was a coal miner in Pittston, Pennsylvania, and that every morning my great-grandmother packed a lunch pail for him and sent him down into the mines. It was dangerous work because there were deadly, invisible toxins in the mines, but the miners’ bodies weren’t sensitive enough to register the poison. So they carried a canary in a cage down into the mines with them sometimes. The canary’s body was built to be sensitive to toxins, so the canary became their lifeguard. When the toxins levels rose too high, the canary would stop singing, and this silence was the miners’ signal to flee the mine. If the miners didn’t leave fast enough, the canary would die and, not much later, so would the miners. I tell Mary Margaret that I don’t think we’re crazy, I think we’re canaries. “Could it be, “that we aren’t making any of this up-we’re just sensing the very real danger in the air?” I tell Mary Margaret that I think the world is more than a little poisonous and that she and I were built to notice that. (Glennon Doyle, pages 28-29)
This really made me want to continue to read the rest of the book. It made me think, everyone else chose the blue pill to continue the illusion of the matrix but these special people chose the red pill and they know the truth. From here on out she knows the rules of survival. There’s two sets of rules ones set of rules are the surface ones; keep up with appearances (events and physical) by any means necessary, be pretty, by quiet, be popular, be invulnerble. The other set of rules are the one’s made for survival mode there’s no room for truth outside of the mental ward, so those suppressed and sex, drugs, throwing up and alcohol are tools used to maneuver from one place to the next without being detected. Yes, you’re popular and most of us would think that it’s very demanding being in the spotlight but for Glennon it was a way to hide and be accepted in plain sight.
The only difference from high school and college was that everything was much more out in the open. Everyone suffered with bulimia and was no big deal as long as the toilet was flushed. Glennon found that Greek life was easy enough to hide so she did. She eventually got a boyfriend from an exclusive fraternity and she was in. She gained access to all of the cool parties and away from the campus they were actually in love. They were able to be themselves but her boyfriend learned really quickly about the surface rules and fell in line when the rest of the frat heard him whispering sweet nothings to her. They both quickly learn their roles when on campus; she the airhead, the one who piles on a ton of makeup before every party which just so happens to be every night, she binge drinks, sex, slutty outfits, washes it off just to repeat the process.
Somehow she graduates college and moves in with her two best friends, Dana and Christy and becomes a teacher. In school, she’s a fantastic teacher but as soon as the bell rings, she falls back into her alternate life of pouring until she’s numb and there’s a continuous binging, purging, drinking but passing out is now added to the crazy behavior. She breaks up with her boyfriend, he cries, she’s single for two weeks and BAM into another relationship.
This relationship was formed on a crowded street in DC on fourth of July when she ran into Craig, a guy she knew from high school who was a couple of years older than her and a soccer star. In the following paragraphs, she talks about the goodness of Craig as if she’s not worthy of him and although Craig is surrounded by beautiful women, he seemingly sees her. They sleep together, mind you sex for Glennon isn’t warm and meaningful as it is for most. Remember, it’s a means to an end, it’s a way of avoidance of more serious issues and she typically describes it as feeling odd and distant. The idea of him really seeing her is questioned but she never verbalizes it due to the rules. Unfortunately, this is never discovered whether he does or doesn’t because as soon enough they are hit with really big news: She’s pregnant…
To Be Continued…