Am I Worth the Investment?

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Your girl misses you! How are you? No, really…how are you? Sometimes people just say that and only expect you to say “Fine” and keep moving but I’m really asking cuz I wanna know. Y’all just don’t understand how much I wanna know you guys and call you friends, not internet friends but real friends. This isn’t me begging but really letting you know my heart and maybe you aren’t use to people laying their feelings out before you but trust me, I’ve never been like anyone else, which is why I call myself Peculiar. I love you and I’m here for you, you matter to me. We need to hear that more. So Imma let you know. You are invited and you belong.

Anywho, have you all been hearing many people stating that January was a practice month? I have. I guess that “New year, New me” momentum has already begun to wear off. I think that’s precisely why I decided to change my resolutions and started focusing on self improvement goals. Investing in yourself is super important. I regard it as I do compliments; it’s great, even wonderful, if others give it to me but so much better if I give it to myself. Their compliment only adds to what I already have but you have to know that but not in an arrogant way. Know that whatever someone sees in you, they only see it because it was there to begin with. I’ve struggled with that in the past because it seems like such a thin line, to be confident vs arrogance. It’s a simple but sometimes hard concept to wrap your mind around.

When you invest in yourself, you have to know you are worth the investment and that what you already have is worth adding to it. Others can want to invest in you, they can assess the value properly but until you know that, it will be difficult to accept their grand gestures. People, especially those with low self esteem, can’t always see that. In fact, they will typically not accept the gift or gesture at all. They try to play it off as not being needy or gracious, even when they really need the blessing. “They’ll say things like I can’t accept that” or “You didn’t have to do that” and sometimes will really mean it. You may almost have to force them to accept the gift and I find that they are usually the ones who have a difficult time assessing their own worth as a person. They are typically generous with investments in others, their projects, compliments, etc. and will give the shirt off of their backs but insist on not accepting it in return because they don’t want to be greedy.

If you fit that criteria, you may be struggling with low self esteem. I can only assess it because I’ve struggled with it. No finger pointing ova here. I still struggle with it. It’s a struggle for me to accept things and even praise at times but I constantly give it out by the truckload. It’s not brag, just #facts. I’ve tried to live in the opposite but it was as if I was going against my own nature because I was. I now have come to love that about myself and I work on receiving it as well. When I want to deny or turn a blessing down, I don’t anymore because I have realized by not accepting it, I’ve shut down a portal of blessing for them. The Word says, “Give, and it shall be given back to you…” (Luke 6:38) They can’t receive what they need if I can’t receive what they want to give me. It doesn’t have to be money. It can be a smile, a word of encouragement, a pardon, kindness, goodness, forgiveness and it can be money and so much more but we must be open to not only receive but give as well.

None of that is possible if you don’t first see that you deserve the investment. No one can make you, they can’t give you enough compliments, money or anything else if you don’t see yourself from the proper perspective. You must discover this truth. This is a trip you will have to take on your own. Well not, necessarily on your own, if you are a believer. God, because He’s the one who created you, can go with you on the journey of self discovery. Self discovery is an investment worth taking. It’s purpose is to train yourself how to think and what you should think about yourself. When you understand, who you are, whose you are, where you belong and how to make a difference, you will have the necessary tools to identify those things in yourself and others around you.

To be transparent, I realized that I’m still on my journey a couple of Sundays ago when I was in service and we did a “repeat after me…”and we came to apart where I had to repeat “I am worthy…” and my voice cracked. I would’ve typically skipped over that and just thought I was being emotional and that was a coincidence. But I had to ask myself, “Did I think I was worthy?” Nope, I don’t. I know me. I know what I’ve done. I know who I’ve been and where. I take full responsibility for that and when I think about the sacrifice that God endured for me. I know I’m not worthy but who is? That doesn’t matter. He thought I was worth saving. Our purpose is trying to figure that out. “Why am I worth it?” I’m still working on this. We, The Peculiars is alive because I’m STILL working on this.

Have you found your “Why?” Why do you get out of bed in the morning? Why do you smile? Why do you work hard? Why are you where you are in life? Why push? Ask yourself these questions but don’t forget to go to God and ask because He’ll reveal it to you. Maybe not how you think He will but He will. I love you guys and I’m grateful that you thought it was worth it to click the subscribe. Now, together let’s subscribe to investing in building our worth.

 

 Beebz ❤

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