Yo, Yo, Yo
Hey y’all!! So it’s about that time again to reflect on the last couple of days. This week has been so much better than last week. There was one potential issue that did arise but I handled it better than even I expected. Tuesday was my dad’s birthday. Sorry, if you’ve heard this before but for the people who may be reading this for the first time, my dad and I no longer have contact. It was a decision that was really hard for me to make but I made it because I was trying to force it for 34 years and I got tired of the anxiety I felt if I didn’t push for it and the disappointment I felt when I did and he didn’t feel like it was enough. Putting all of that energy into that relationship left other areas of my life underdeveloped and smeared negativity on others so I stopped. I can go into more detail but for the sake of this post I won’t.
On last week’s rundown I told you guys about several issues that caused anxiety and the anticipation of his birthday was one of those contributing factors. Please understand I love my dad and I’d love nothing more than for him to wrap his arms around me with no judgment and really put forth effort but I’ve realized that I can’t make anyone do that. I’ve wanted that for as long as I could remember but it never stuck. For a long time, I was stuck in between two viewpoints, to be the bigger person and love him through it or to save myself and focus on the life I deserved. If you wanna learn more about this unhealthy relationship, you can read about it in previous posts here and here.
Even though I’m not big on birthdays, they are big. They are a celebration of life. This year, I didn’t call and I felt guilty. It helped that I got my days mixed up and thought it was Wednesday. I hope he enjoyed himself but I’m glad I didn’t romanticize the day. I loved him from afar and I got a little down but I remembered that I can’t allow myself to get carried away in my emotions. Instead, I decided to refocus on ways to pull myself outta my emotions and on to more positive spaces. I started discovering my crystals again. I’ve begun wearing my Blue Lace Agate ring and carrying around 2 Emerald stones and 1 of my Snakeskin Agate stones. I’m not really sure why those were the ones chosen. I was just attracted to them. Then I looked up the meanings of them and became really grateful. Here’s the properties:
Blue Lace Agate- inspires loyalty and trustworthiness. It is a support crystal for all caregivers, calming stress-related situations and overcoming communication difficulties. Carry or wear Blue Lace Agate if you struggle to express your emotions without getting upset. Blue Lace Agate counteracts the repression and suppression of feelings caused by past fears, judgments, or rejections. It dissolves old blockage patterns and doubt, and permits new methods of self-expression and growth.
Emerald- is an excellent stone for reviving passion, whether for an interest, a person, or a job. To attract romantic love, wear or carry an Emerald out of sight near the heart. In tumblestone form, Emerald promotes good self-esteem, especially in restoring the confidence of young girls or teens that have been teased about their weight, or any young person made to feel inferior due to the inability to afford the latest designer goods. While Emerald has a calming effect on the emotions, it has an invigorating effect on thought, reflection, and philosophy. It is a marvelous crystal for activating artistic creativity, and for bringing focus and intensity to one’s lifework. Emerald is a remarkable support stone for the workplace. It increases mental acuity, strengthens memory and inspires eloquence in speech. Natural Emerald or tumblestone held for five minutes a day brings rapid recall of facts, and is ideal for occupations where visionary insight is a significant benefit. It enkindles success in business.
Snakeskin Agate- will promote strength during times when you’re too busy or involved in a lot of activity. It will encourage you to show the more pleasant side of your personality, and it will inspire a more peaceful and harmonious approach to life. Snakeskin Agate will give you inner peace and a better appreciation for your life. It will remind you of the joy of being alive, especially when you start feeling overwhelmed by the events in your life. When you work with the energies of Snakeskin Agate, you will experience an increase in joy and happiness. It will also increase the amount of love that you have for yourself because it will positively change how you look at your life.
I have a small collection but I’ve been into them long before they became so mainstream. I became interested when I started learning about Jewish culture and how there’s a stone associated with every month and every tribe, even the priest wears a breastplate of stones to represent the tribes. Anyway, let’s get on with it.
This Week’s Assessment: March 10th to March 16th
My grade is a B. I am happy that I’m starting to realize the areas in which I need to work on without getting so emotional and knowing resources that can help me along the way.
Next Week’s Goals:
Easing back into my schedule. Spring is begin the spring and my body needs to as well.
Let me know how you thought I did and if you think I deserve an B, maybe I deserve lower or perhaps, higher. I’d love some feedback. Also did you think I handled my father’s birthday properly?