This week. This week has been real for me. I came back from the mountains on a high. I learned a lot but wasn’t quite sure how I was gonna apply it and on the LCA call this week we talked about paying the price and showing up. I listen to the LCA call everyday and used to be more active, especially on Fridays because they are Insightful Fridays, the days when we are allowed to give feedback but recently I would find myself tuning it out and stopped my insight months ago. I didn’t even realize that I had but I guess started getting comfortable hearing the information, not that the information was no longer challenging me to become better but I think it just became apart of my routine to get on the call.
Once I realized it, I began to listen again. This was the week that happened for me and I was challenged right away. I’ve made schedules, I’ve put all the things in the schedule that should make me successful but I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t doing it. 2018 was supposed to be different but it was starting to look like every other year; great plans, no changes.
This past weekend, Jen and I went to the grocery store to prepare for Passover (We couldn’t eat yeast, pork or shellfish) and we ran into a co-worker of mine. We began to catch up and I was asked what I wanted to do and I was stumped. She asked the question and Jen backed away. When she did, she was asked why she had and her response was directed back to me “That’s been my question…What do you want?…” I remained stumped…Why didn’t I say I wanted? Did I even know what I wanted? I mean I’m sure I could’ve filled the space with something that sounded really good but the truth was that I didn’t know and that’s what I said. “I don’t know. I’m good at a lot. I’ve been doing admin work, I’m good at it but I don’t know what I want.”
Now looking back at it that’s probably why nothing has stuck because there’s been no end goal for me. Sure, it sounds good to want to get better, to schedule workouts, to read book, to meditate. I think we all can agree that these are all good practices but there’s nothing in that that motivates one to do it. It being a good practice is good but good is not personal enough. I need to connect those amazing practices to something that is a burning desire for me. So my work has to be “What is my burning desire?” Maybe this is for you too.
Good practices are good but good is not personal enough. -Beebz
I’ve learned other things about myself this week as well but I’ll save that for another post as it’s really controversial and I’m not sure you guys are ready for that just yet or maybe I’m not ready to talk about those really personal things that people think and don’t say but I typically say them but I have to think about my brand so I’m not sure.
This Week’s Assessment: March 31st to April 06th
On my last Weekly Rundown, I said I wanted to focus on physical fitness and I’ve done that slightly. I’ve found myself doing random squats and sit ups but I haven’t legitimately put on a tape and done an hour workout. So maybe I’ve failed but I have gotten more cleaning done this week than I have in a good, long while. I give myself a D. I’ve done some meaningful work and asked some questions that I’ve avoided but I specifically talked about my fitness and I’ve done a little something but not much.
Next Week’s Goals:
I plan on actually putting that workout video on and doing it to be best of my ability. Previously I haven’t done it because I knew how far I let myself go and doing the video is going to confirm that. I realize I have to do it at some point and the longer I wait the closer to summer we will get.
I also want to really probe myself to find out what really is my burning desire. If it’s this blog, then why aren’t I doing everything I can to make it a success. What’s going on underneath these matters? I’ll let you know what I find next week.
Let me know how you thought I did and if you think I deserve an D, maybe I deserve lower or perhaps, higher. I’d love some feedback.