It’s been awhile…almost a year. I literally came on here to see if WTP was still active. I’ve wanted to be more present recently but didn’t know what to say. I was going through and didn’t want it to be broadcasted on the internet for all eternity and no one sees it.
This is not a diary, Dammit!!! (it’s not quite that serious)
I started this blog to create an atmosphere for people to connect and I felt alone. Truth be told, it began to feel like an online journal. Not knocking online journals, but that wasn’t the intent. I always talked about how the size of the audience shouldn’t matter and it truly didn’t. The issue I couldn’t cope with was that no one was interacting, even if it was one consistent person, I think it would’ve motivated me to invest in the relationship.
“I assessed my impact on interaction.”
Day after day, I was posting these really private parts of my life. On one hand, I was nervous that I’d get judged and on the other hand, I thought the support would outweigh the negativity that so many Influencers talk about. Without any activity, I just began to second guess everything. Not to mention, everything else that was going on behind the scenes was in shambles (y’all know some of what was going on) but without the support, I didn’t really see a point in posting the most embarrassing experiences of my life. So I didn’t and after awhile I got use to not posting and when I wanted to come back, it felt like too much time passed and I didn’t know what to say so I stayed away.
I’m sure you’re wondering “Why didn’t I just let it expire?” Honestly? The truth is that the site is on auto renew. I didn’t know and I admit that I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was still up. It kinda felt like a sign until I found out it was recently renewed without my knowledge.
Outside of the blog, I constantly found myself in situations where ‘purpose’ came up and I kept hearing myself say that blogging was mine. Then I would feel horrible about it because it was so natural for me to acknowledge after I gave it up, not while I had it. Perhaps, I took it for granted.
So, with my tail between my legs, I’m here to reclaim my purpose. I have no idea what this is gonna be, if it will pick up where I left off, if there will be a schedule or anything. Honestly, I’m just winging it and hoping that obedience takes it from there. I apologize for abandoning you. I’m sorry…truly I am. I don’t know how to make it up to you. I assessed my impact on interaction but you may have been a reader who was impacted but decided not to interact, for whatever reason. You deserved more. This time, I’m not making any promises. This time, I’m doing this because something was missing, there was a yearning that wasn’t fulfilled and my path was clearer when I was actively blogging. I’m back to regain that territory and possibly more but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
If you’re still here, holla at me…or not. I’ll be here. We’ll see how often but I’ll definitely be more present.